8 TIPS FOR A GREAT WEDDING SPEECH

HOW TO WRITE A WEDDING SPEECH

As wedding photographers, we’ve seen our fair share of wedding speeches – they range from hilarious, to wistful, to super emotional – and everything in-between! Along with the rest of the guests we’ve cried tears of laughter and blubbed quietly while we hide behind the camera.

Public speaking doesn’t come naturally to most of us, in fact for most people even the thought of giving a speech is enough to induce a cold sweat! But there’s a few things you can do to make writing and delivering a wedding speech more memorable and less stressful – so here’s our eight tips for a great wedding speech…

WEDDING SPEECH TIP #1

// MAKE IT GENUINE

Let’s start with WHAT you say. In our experience, the most memorable wedding speeches are those which you just know have truly come from the heart, and not from an online template. Obviously what you say will depend whether you’re the groom, best man, father of the bride, or even the bride (yay to brides making speeches!), but think about what it is about this occasion that makes it so special. Maybe there were particular challenges, other life events, an interesting story around how the couple met, funny stories… there are so many things you can draw on.

When it comes to how you say it, most of all, be YOU. You may have a pre-conceived idea that your speech should be entertaining, that you need to be a comedian, or have people reaching for the tissues… but if any of those are at odds with your personality, whatever you say is likely to feel disingenuous. Just be yourself.

WEDDING SPEECH TIP #2

// LET IT BREATHE

Don’t leave writing your speech till the last minute; write some drafts, let it breathe, come back to it – as you start really thinking about it, over the days and weeks all sorts of little gems will come to you when you least expect – driving to work, or walking the dog – so don’t rush the process.

When you have an idea, write it down straight away or use your phone to make notes or record a quick voice memo – it’s amazing how quickly we can forget a great idea, even when we’re convinced we’ll remember it! If you’ve really got writer’s block, ask friends and family for their insight; you might not want to use their content but it might help trigger your own ideas.

Don’t be surprised if you find yourself still making edits to your speech on the day of the wedding - we’ve seen this plenty of times!

WEDDING SPEECH TIP #3

// KEEP IT SHORT, SWEET AND CLEAN

Don’t push the guests’ attention spans by giving a really long speech. Yours is likely not the only speech they’ll be listening to and speech fatigue is actually a thing – believe us, we’ve seen it!

Remember that your audience will likely range from small children to elderly grandparents, so avoiding controversial and offensive subjects, vulgar language and anything that could be considered poor taste is a good policy. And, unless you can easily explain it for everyone’s benefit, try to avoid ‘in-jokes’ or you’ll just leave most of the room scratching their heads.

WEDDING SPEECH TIP #4

// ALLOW TIME TO SOURCE ANY PROPS

Props can be a great way to bring a speech to life. They can also help to give you a little breathing space in your speech by shifting the focus directly away from you, onto something else. Maybe you want to have something printed, or play a video, or show an item with some relevance to the content of your speech. You may not know what props you might want to use until you start drafting your speech, so make sure you give yourself plenty of time to prepare and source what you need.

WEDDING SPEECH TIP #5

// OBSERVE THE ETIQUETTE

When it comes to correct wedding speech etiquette, there are certain points you’re expected to cover:

If you’re the father of the bride:

The father of the bride always gives his speech first and is expected to welcome everyone and thank them for coming. It’s typical that the father of the bride will talk fondly of his daughter, sharing a few stories, and welcome the groom to the family, maybe sharing a recollection of meeting for the first time. The father of the bride should also toast absent family and friends and close with a toast to the newlyweds.

If you’re the groom:

The groom always follows the father of the bride and has a lot of thank yous to get through – as well as complimenting the bride (of course) and sharing some anecdotes! Firstly, the groom should thank the father of the bride for the welcome, and add his thanks to the guests for coming and for their gifts. It’s also typical for the groom to present the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom with a bouquet of flowers, and raise a toast to the bridesmaids. The groom may also take the opportunity to thank specific people such as family, friends or key wedding suppliers that have contributed to making the day what it is. Many grooms choose to close their speech with a heartfelt toast to the bride.

If you’re the best man:

The best man always goes last. The best man should add his thanks to those of the groom in thanking the bridesmaids, and congratulate the couple. It’s usually at this point that the best man moves on to suitably embarrass the groom, though beware of taking things too far or upsetting the bride. It’s customary for the best man to read out any messages that have been sent by family and friends that couldn’t attend in person (see point #7) and to close with a final toast to the newlyweds. Sometimes the best man chooses to split the speech with another of the groom’s friends, which can help to take the pressure off a little if the thought of delivering a speech is a bit panic-inducing (or if you’re a natural double-act)!

WEDDING SPEECH TIP #6

// KNOW WHO ELSE IS SPEAKING (AND WHAT THEY’RE LIKELY TO SAY)

This is especially relevant if you’re the best man or a bridesmaid and you both intend to give a speech. Let’s face it, you’re both good friends of the couple, and if they’ve been together a while, you’re likely to have some shared history, you might have the same funny stories… if the same funny story is the core of both your speeches and neither of you know, it’s not a pleasant surprise! So it can be a good idea to find out who plans to give a speech and make sure you’re not stepping on each other’s toes.

WEDDING SPEECH TIP #7

// MAKE USE OF TECHNOLOGY

Modern technology has made it easier than ever to connect people. Think of how you can incorporate live link segments or pre-recorded video messages from guests who couldn’t be there in person. It’s great if you can arrange these things as a surprise, as it feels incredibly personal – just make sure the venue is capable of supporting your plans.

WEDDING SPEECH TIP #8

// PREPARE AND PRACTICE!

And the best piece of wedding speech advice we can offer? PRACTICE. You might feel silly, but you’ll be glad you did it!

Things sound different when they’re spoken aloud – some things you’ve written down might not sound right to you when you speak it aloud, and the flow might not work as you imagined. Practicing audibly gives you a sense of how it’ll feel on the day, what works and what doesn’t. If you feel brave enough, ask someone who isn’t going to be at the wedding to listen to your speech and give you some feedback, or set up your phone and record yourself!

We hope you’ve found our little guide to writing a wedding speech useful!

If you’d like to talk to us about photographing your wedding day, please get in touch with us - we’d love to hear what you’ve got planned, and of course capture those amazing speeches :) …